Lost Between the Leaves and Things

This is the room where we always dreamed of grass and splendid evenings.

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Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
sarah & joe
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways.

For the past month I have been working a nights & weekend job selling concessions at the city softball park. It's a really sweet gig. Lots of downtime and free snacks, plus the people are very nice. I am working ~50 hours a week right now between Small World and softball, which gets a little "Ah-I-am-always-working-I-just-want-a-nap" now and then, but when school gets out this week it will be much more manageable.

We found out recently that Joe got into grad school at St. John's College in Santa Fe, so sometime shortly after our wedding we will be heading to New Mexico. I am so very proud of him and excited for us, but I have mixed emotions about leaving. More than anything, I will miss my job at the preschool. I love my bbs with all my heart. And even when they are older, reading books and tying their own shoes...they will still be my babies. It is a wonderful and bittersweet thing to be a preschool teacher, especially for toddlers. You help mold the tiniest humans. One of the first handful of words they learn to say is your name. They parrot you, your mannerisms and the songs you sing to them. You show them everything you know and love them as much as you can for an entire year, and then when springtime comes, they move on to the next age group. And they forget you, just a bit. They still know your face, they come when you call them to zip up a jacket or hand them a fallen toy. But they grow up. It's the most rewarding part, but it's also the hardest. PARENTS HOW DO YOU I DON'T EVEN.

I am going to be a bucket of emotions after Thursday, since I will miss these children so stinkin' much.

We'll always have Ring Around the Rosey. DO YOU LIKE MY COWBOY HAT?

.  .  .

The last few weeks have revealed some tragedies in the lives of my friends. One of my best friends from junior high/high school's dad passed away last week after a sudden re-emergence of a very painful cancer. That has been an abrupt, heartbreaking, nostalgic, unreal experience. One of my best friends from college lost her mom this month after several years fighting a debilitating disease. I'm so sorry it happened, and sorry that I am too far away to bring her Oreos and hug her and try to understand Dr. Who while she watches it on her laptop.

But, there are joyful things too. I had my wedding shower on Friday night at my boss's house. It was lovely, with a lot of nice gifts and very pretty cupcakes. Teacher Appreciation Week was last week, so I was inundated with flowers and cards and gift boxes from tiny hands. My wedding is less than 90 days away, which is exciting. A lot of the heavy lifting is done, so to speak, so I am mostly playing around at this point: buying scrapbooking supplies for the reception, looking at centerpieces, getting tangled up with floral tape.

I think back to the last big, huge thing I did, my college graduation, and it is funny to see the differences and similarities between the graduation and the wedding. The biggest difference is that for the graduation, all I had to do was show up and listen for my name. The wedding has been a from-the-ground-up experience. Both hold a sense of accomplishment, but it's hard to describe marriage tangibly as an accomplishment -- because I am certainly not of the opinion your life is incomplete without it, nor that it is for everybody and every relationship. For us, it's simply...an agreement. We were both lucky to love someone who loved in return, and we are both willing to protect that. But maybe that kind of realization is an accomplishment.

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(Deleted comment)
It's funny that Colleen mentioned this, because I kept making the same mistake at first. Those Spanish names. Embarrassing us.

Oh noes!! Geonauts party in the desert? Y/Y? :D

Hopefully I will still be able to visit around some, especially since we will sort of be on a school break schedule again (or at least, 1/2 of us!).

Congrats on all the goodness in your life!

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